The Shelling (Dirtbag Jess)

from AWAY GAMES by assorted artists

track by C-3PieO

Note: This song was inspired by the Pies Discord riffing on a less-wholesome but still lovable version of Jessica Telephone, specifically conceived as a teenager from the late 1990s (or perhaps the 2080s with heavy late-1990s influences). This version of JT inspired a set of wiki edits that generated much discourse, and was ultimately reconciled into lore via a combination of the Interdimensional Rumor Mill and a storyline about the effects of a personified time-traveling quantum waveform being trapped inside a peanut shell by an eldritch legume god.

VERSE 1
A
Jessica Telephone always

A
wished that she could be good

       A                G    D
at something other than blaseball

A
Jessica Telephone never

A
thought that she’d be stuck

          A          G  D
inside of a gigantic peanut

A
While inside the peanut

     A
Jessica decided to learn

        A                 G   D
all the words to the song Rap God

A
When she came back out

         A
everyone was surprised to learn

          A            G   D
that Jessica was now a dirtbag


BRIDGE
C  G  D

C  G  D

C  G  D

C  F  D


VERSE 2
A
Jessica was pecked free

       A
of the shell by birds

                    A               G  D
and when she busted out yeah it was so cool

A
From that day Jessica

       A
became the envy of all the other

A                G   D
kids who went to her school

A
Anyone who listens

     A
Jessica shows them how she learned

      A                G   D
every word to the song Rap God

A
Now she’s shelled again and it’s


 A
anyone’s guess what song she’s gonna

A                G    D
come out knowing this time


BRIDGE
C  G  D

C  G  D

C  G  D

C  F  D


CODA
A

A

A  G D G D  G D  A