Seattle Garages - no parties in seattle

from World Tour: Part 1 by assorted artists

by Kate Olguin (@DragonDirigible)

Blaseball rivals best beware
Our band has no second chair
Garages are equal and that’s rad
Because we’re all equally bad

We always lose
But not enough
We’ve gone for years
With no stat buffs

‘Cause we care too much to give up
But we suck too hard to win
We strike out as runners-up
And the cycle starts again
We work hard but we stay the same
Stuck between subpar and fine
Every day’s another battle when you’re batting for Seattle
And here there is no party time

Garages on the mound again
(Garages on the mound again)
Eight pitchers? Might as well be ten
(Might as well be ten more)
A lineup full of strained “what-ifs”
(Yeah, like what if we were good)
Star hitter? Plundered by the lift
(Just our luck, she’s stolen)

We have no stars
But we love them all
We’d love them more
If they hit the ball

‘Cause we care too much to give up
But we suck too hard to win
We strike out as runners-up
And the cycle starts again
We work hard but we stay the same
Stuck between subpar and fine
Every day’s another battle when you’re batting for Seattle
And here there is no party time

Our team just wants to rest a day
(Our team just wants to rest a day)
Before waves or fire sweep them away
(Burn out or get burned up)
We’re mediocre to the bone
(No bones about it, we suck)
But playoffs won’t leave us alone
(Three-time losing champions)

No special skills
Not blessed or cursed
And while you’re here
You won’t get better, but you might get worse

‘Cause we care too much to give up
But we suck too hard to win
We strike out as runners-up
And the cycle starts again
We work hard but we stay the same
Stuck between subpar and fine
Every day’s another battle when you’re batting for Seattle
And here there is no party time

Is it time yet, when’s our turn
Can we get lit before we burn?
Led to slaughter like we’re cattle
Our team knows there’s no parties in Seattle

‘Cause we care too much to give up
But we suck too hard to win
We strike out as runners-up
And the cycle starts again

But we’ve got heart and soul here
We don’t care what they all say
And our future might be unclear
But you can’t take our band away
Misfits have a place here
No matter what their stats
Even if they suck, we’ll still cheer
Every time they’re up to bat
So who cares about the standings
We’re here to kill gods and play ball
And maybe it’s not the worst thing
If Seattle can’t party at all