higher road

from STRIKE TWO​!​! by Fourth Strike Records

written and performed by zack.ry (zackry.bandcamp.com)

hindsight always
comes to me with the harshest tone
to remind me of everything
that i’ve done wrong
in the present, i live with
the consequences of my
peculiar combination of an
ego and naïveté

i’ve managed to cause myself more
trouble than even the white old men at
church thought i could do, guess i finally
proved them wrong about something

i can’t say every day
brings the same pain that it
used to and my therapist says i’m
making more progress than i give myself
credit for, but i’m not sure that she’s
looking at the same person i see
in the mirror, my rear view is clearer
than anything in front of me

my mom and dad keep asking me
if i’m happy and sometimes the answer’s
yes, but it’s not the question that i’m
looking for

where do i go from here, is there some
other road that i haven’t been told about
cause the only map i’ve been given was
meant to be driven by a different kind of body
i’ve mostly managed to make my
forward by finding the routes of least resistance
but i’m getting tired
can i at least get some help building this
higher road

i packed my things and moved up north
finally got out, finally moving forward
into whatever’s next, why can’t i
stop myself from thinking bout the past
and as luck would have it, it turns out
it wasn’t the landscape that made me feel south
i can’t outrun the brain that makes my
legs move

no matter how much older i get
i find my heart and brain don’t connect
they’re pulling me until i break

i am losing my steam
i’m running low on sleep
from running round
i’m running out of false securities
and time ain’t
slowin down but
i am
oh i am

where do i go from here, is there some
other road that i haven’t been told about
cause the only map i’ve been given was
meant to be driven by a different kind of body
i’ve mostly managed to make my
forward by finding the routes of least resistance
but i’m getting tired
can i at least get some help building this
higher road