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from EXPANSION by the garages

Guitar, vocals, songwriting: Juniper-Rose Drown (junirosie.bsky.social) Keys/sound design: Glittershot Sunset (glittershot-sunset.bandcamp.com)

For Cathedral
lyrics
You tell me that I wake up in the middle of the night
You said I can’t remember my own name
But I don’t remember waking up
I feel a little pressure in my brain

The days are getting hazy and indistinct
They blur together in some foggy way
And I don’t remember what I did today
I think I’m slowly yielding to the strain

I’m starting to lose my sense of self

Would you love me if I changed my name
Would you love me if I didn’t stay the same
I don’t know where my mind went wrong
I don’t think I can stay stable for long

I’m scared that someday I’ll be replaced
I’m scared I’m not alone inside my head
If a day comes soon where I am snuffed out by a flame
Would you remember me and try to say my name

I'm starting to lose my sense of self

she told me to wait from inside my own mind, and it was so clear to me that i was shaken out of my dazed position, overwhelmed and half crazed, the sun beating down on me.
what was i just doing? oh that’s right right, desperately wishing for a way out, looking for a path out, i just wanted this awful day to end.

it’s 6pm and i’m standing in a park, some 200 yards away from the picnic table. i’m told we would leave at 4, but it’s been hours now and there’s no sign of stopping. i want to go home

“it’s okay, just wait”

i look up at the park, surprised. was someone yelling at me?
i look at the table, surprised. was someone talking to me?
i hear someone call my name, surprised. weren’t you standing right next to me?

i walk to the car, i think. what’s my name?
i look at my family, i think. who’s that face?
when i go home i realize that i’m missing time
someone’s keeping those memories at bay

i look in the mirror, and i ask who i am
she tells me, in the mirror, that i am who i say i am
i ask if i am her, and she makes a little face
neither of us are sure at this point

i asked her if i was losing my mind
she told me that’s one way to put it
i woke up the next day in someone else’s bed
with no memory of what time it was or why

i think i might be slowly being eroded away
but she told me i just need to share my space
she promised i’d still be here even after a long time
that she wasn’t there to take, posses or replace

she said you don’t have to be alone anymore
i told the mirror that i thought that that was nice
she said you’re scared, i know how you get when you want to hide
i turned the light off, and hid under the blankets all night

she said i love you
i said i love you too
(you don’t have to do this alone)

(if i’m a dream, please dream me forever
if i’m a memory, please remember me when i’m gone)

(i can’t bear being left behind
by the person i have to share a mind)

(i know i will always be safe with you
i know i will always be loved by you)

(if you can’t take it, i’ll take it for us
if you can’t make it, i’ll make it for us
if you can’t do it, i’ll do it for us
if you can’t love us, i’ll do it for us)