go down (or fall)

from the garages (learn nothing) by the garages

by riley ( lidocaineleeds.bandcamp.com )

it was a mercy in your eyes
to be alone when the world died
nothing could be better
i decided just to let her


walk into the endless sun
i couldn’t bear it, so i’d run
towards the nearest black hole
“it’ll swallow up my burnt soul”


i fell down 
“i’ll let me drown”
in the darkness 


i heard voices in the rain
others falling as they came
to this gorgeous new world 
the stars, they seemed to unfurl


it’s not the same here, this I know,
i left the desert for the snow
no better than a scene change
at least it’s not my  old cage


i’ll settle down
i’ll let you down, you down
from the darkness 


where are you
where are you
where are you now?


where are you
where are you
where are you now?


i remember writing you in moab
terrified of when you’d call for a chat
sick and tired of this goddamn game


but it made you happy, that i know
filled some sort of bleeding hole 
the thought made everything okay


we saw the apocalypse together, thought that we’d managed to live through it
instead you scattered yourself, instead you threw yourself upon the sand


was any of it ever real?
was everything you said to me a demo reel
of what a real person could have had?
instead of a faker getting faker every time you asked

(now she’s dead, and i’m someone else)
(i’ve got the best life, cos i’m living with the best wife)


i’ve tried taking control, only made it worse
i tried moving on, it only made me hurt
there’s no magic bullet, no simple fix
i just gotta try and start again in this empty place


nothing gets better if you don’t give a shit
nothing gets better if you don’t try at it
so just push every second of every day
we’re gonna recover no matter what’s in our way